Happy Together on a Rainy Day.....

Me and You, and You and Me. No matter how they toss the dice,

It has to be, the only one for Me is You, and You for Me..

So happy togeeether.......

God Bless the USA!

I wanted to represent for the red, white, and blue this year for the 4th of July so the sweet staff of Midtown Groom & Board hooked me up with this new look! I am so thankful to live in the USA where I have the freedom to poop in my own yard, in my neighbors yard, in the house, on the mail, etc. I am so proud to be an American!

These colors don't run!

Who am I kidding. This is so f*&king embarrassing. I am going to get so made fun of. I hate you Mom.

I Love My Brother

Oscar is my brother from another Mother! Literally, he has a different Mom than I do. We play together, we sleep together, we poop together, and we scare off the mailman together. Even though he is bigger and stronger and sometimes drags me around by my collar, I know he would eat the mailman for me any day. I f*&kin love you brother.

Bad angle

Does sitting like this make my butt look big?

I was swimming in the beach this weekend and got caught in the rough waters in a desperate attempt to eat a seagull that I spotted.

Then this old lady spots me and she's like "Hey man, are you ok?!" and I'm like "No, b*%ch does it look like I'm ok??"

F*&k my life. I just wanted to attack that seagull. Now I'm cold and my little legs aren't strong enough to fight these waves. Plus I really need to take a dump. This just sucks all around.

Oh f*&k I'm getting really fatigued now. I'm drowning, like for real. Can someone please throw me a bone? Or a life preserver? Or a dingo? Whatever.

Then finally this one guy decides to be a hero and come save me. Why he felt the need to remove his pants, I'm not sure.

I was like, "Hurry the f*$k up man!"

"Seriously, just jump! It's not that cold once you get in, I promise. Ugh. Where is my worthless mother when I need her most?"

"Oh f&%k. Down I go."

You are my f*$kin hero. Seriously.

"Careeeful, Careful. I'm delicate."

This is so f*&king embarrassing. Never going to the beach again. I'll stick to chasing squirrels. Ease up lady I'm still in shock.

Moral of the story, wear your f&#king life jacket. Or stay away from the water. Whatever.

**This was a totally made up story. Nugget claims no rights to those photos, and has no f*&king clue who that dog or those people were.

Daddy Wasn't There

I am like so f*%king emo. I keep asking Mom to die my coat black but she won't. Why is the world so against me?

Parental Advisory

Hey, Parents, listen up! This shit is for you. It was brought to my attention this evening that my sweet little neighbor next to Grandma's house got a hold of my blog and read it. She's only like, 8 or something. Anyways, I like to practice my freedom of speech and say whatever the f*&k I want on here. This is not for children. Remember that, and respect it, b*%ches!