Happy Together on a Rainy Day.....

Me and You, and You and Me. No matter how they toss the dice,

It has to be, the only one for Me is You, and You for Me..

So happy togeeether.......

God Bless the USA!

I wanted to represent for the red, white, and blue this year for the 4th of July so the sweet staff of Midtown Groom & Board hooked me up with this new look! I am so thankful to live in the USA where I have the freedom to poop in my own yard, in my neighbors yard, in the house, on the mail, etc. I am so proud to be an American!

These colors don't run!

Who am I kidding. This is so f*&king embarrassing. I am going to get so made fun of. I hate you Mom.

I Love My Brother

Oscar is my brother from another Mother! Literally, he has a different Mom than I do. We play together, we sleep together, we poop together, and we scare off the mailman together. Even though he is bigger and stronger and sometimes drags me around by my collar, I know he would eat the mailman for me any day. I f*&kin love you brother.

Bad angle

Does sitting like this make my butt look big?

I was swimming in the beach this weekend and got caught in the rough waters in a desperate attempt to eat a seagull that I spotted.

Then this old lady spots me and she's like "Hey man, are you ok?!" and I'm like "No, b*%ch does it look like I'm ok??"

F*&k my life. I just wanted to attack that seagull. Now I'm cold and my little legs aren't strong enough to fight these waves. Plus I really need to take a dump. This just sucks all around.

Oh f*&k I'm getting really fatigued now. I'm drowning, like for real. Can someone please throw me a bone? Or a life preserver? Or a dingo? Whatever.

Then finally this one guy decides to be a hero and come save me. Why he felt the need to remove his pants, I'm not sure.

I was like, "Hurry the f*$k up man!"

"Seriously, just jump! It's not that cold once you get in, I promise. Ugh. Where is my worthless mother when I need her most?"

"Oh f&%k. Down I go."

You are my f*$kin hero. Seriously.

"Careeeful, Careful. I'm delicate."

This is so f*&king embarrassing. Never going to the beach again. I'll stick to chasing squirrels. Ease up lady I'm still in shock.

Moral of the story, wear your f&#king life jacket. Or stay away from the water. Whatever.

**This was a totally made up story. Nugget claims no rights to those photos, and has no f*&king clue who that dog or those people were.

Daddy Wasn't There

I am like so f*%king emo. I keep asking Mom to die my coat black but she won't. Why is the world so against me?

Parental Advisory

Hey, Parents, listen up! This shit is for you. It was brought to my attention this evening that my sweet little neighbor next to Grandma's house got a hold of my blog and read it. She's only like, 8 or something. Anyways, I like to practice my freedom of speech and say whatever the f*&k I want on here. This is not for children. Remember that, and respect it, b*%ches!

I'm On A Boat

Awww shit, I'm on a boat!

21

Today is my 3rd birthday, that's 21 in dog years! I'm a f*&king man now! Mom gave me my first beer at midnight. It was so f*$king good. Can't wait for 6th street tonight. I'm going to piss all over those bars!

Anne Geddes

I could totally be in one of those Anne Geddes baby calendars. I am like so f*#king cute.

The Dog Park

Mom took me to the Red Bud Isle Dog Park last night. In the photo you see above I am swimming back from a desperate attempt to locate a rock that she threw for me to fetch. I was trying to be a good dog and bring it back to her but I couldn't find the damn thing. I was thinking, "This f*&king water is so cold and I can't find the f$*king rock. Total bulls**t. I'd rather be on the couch eating a dingo or something right now."

Bring your dog to work day

My b*&ch of a Mother got me all cleaned up like we were going somewhere cool this morning. I was like "Oh My God Oh My God Are we going to the dog park?! Doggie daycare?!" I was so f&#king excited.

Then we show up to her office. Apparently it's "Bring your dog to work day." What the f*$k is this about? I could be on the couch right now at home. So this is th place you leave me for everyday? Seems pretty boring to me.

I guess this chair will do for now. This is such bulls**t.

ZZzzzZZZzZzzZZZzzzz..............

Dreamin of dingos and eating squirrels........

Can I please come in?

Let me back in bitch. It's dark out here...I'm scared...this is not f*&king funny. Look, I'm sitting!

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR

This photo was taken shortly after Mom took me on my first run in over a year. I'm trying to get fit for the ladies this summer...

Heaven

Getting my head pet is like the best thing in the world. Better than Dingos. It feels so f*%kin good.

Just posing...

I am like so good looking. I should be a f*#king model.

Chester the Molester

This is the worst thing to happen to me since they cut off my balls. I took a trip to my old hair salon, Doggie Detailers, in Galveston as I am in town for Auntie's wedding, and well...you can see what happened. I used to be a good looking guy, with a full coat of white hair. Now everyone keeps talking about how I resemble some man named Chester...I believe his last name is Molester. I get the feeling that this Chester guy is not good looking. F*$k my life.

My Long-lost Half-ass Auntie

I've had a pretty f&*kin rough childhood. Nobody seemed to want me. First, my Mom purchased me off the side of the road at a discount because no one else would buy me. I was a gift to her sister, Lindsey, this b*%ch in the photo with me. I was such a bundle of joy-and- because I am a "Malti-Cocka-Poo," she thought I was one of those designer puppies only to weigh 10lbs. Well, 25 lbs and a few pairs of shoes later, Lindsey regifted me to my current Mom and that's who I stay with now. Lindsey and I have since restored our relationship, as she mails me the occasional Dingo.

Sorry Auntie

Auntie Karen- listen..I'm really sorry that I pissed on your foot last night. I was a little disoriented from being locked in the bathroom for so long and I thought you were a tree. It won't happen again.

The Mohawk

I used to have a mohawk and I was such a f*$king badass with it. What do you think? Should I bring it back?

The Life

This is the f*$king life..

"Interactive Food Toy"

So, my Mom got me this freakin "Interactive Food Toy" for me to get my breakfast from every day. You roll this f*$king thing around on the floor and food comes out a little at a time. It's supposed to "stimulate my mind" and give me something to do. All I have to say is F%*k you for that, Mom!

I'm really, really sorry

Listen, Nicholes, I'm really really sorry that I pissed on your blanket this weekend. I was angry that you were giving Oscar more attention than me. It was really immature, and I hope you can forgive me.

I would also like to apologize to Neighbor Tim, for trying to eat your cat yesterday. I don't know what came over me. Hope we can still be friends.

Eggs and Bacon!

So...Mom made me some eggs and bacon this morning for my good behavior recently and it was like so f*%king good. Mmmm so f*%king good..eggs and bacon.

...5 minutes later while Mom was eating her breakfast..

Umm...sooo...liike...could I have some more? Just a little bit of your eggs?

Pride and Joy

Mom says that I'm here pride and joy. I tend to agree.

Baby Love

Man I was like so f*%king cute when I was a kid. Just take a look at that face. Ashley, what the f*%k is on your head? Loser.

MTV Cribs

Hey MTV, my name is Nugget, welcome to my crib! Come on in..i'll show you around.
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10 minutes later...

Alright. I'm done. Hope you enjoyed my crib. Now get the f$*k out!